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Cruise into Wayne's world

Rupert Hargreaves
17/ 6/2008

UNDER leaden skies, the Mediterranean might not be on its best behaviour but our cruise ship's drinks waiter, Attila from Hungary, is flat calm as ever and it's service as normal. "It's my pleasure to make you happy," he soothes, expertly dispensing two chilled glasses of champagne on the ever-so-slightly listing table. As usual there is no charge.

This is upper-class cruising on SeaDream 2 off the north-west coast of Italy. But onboard all mention of "cruising" is banned. Here, we are "sailing", our journey is a "voyage", cabins are "staterooms" and excursions in the various ports of call are "land adventures".

Subtle stuff indeed, but it's the hallmark of SeaDream's determination to be marked out as different from the pack in a rapidly growing sector of the holiday market. First there's the size. SeaDream 1 and SeaDream 2 are identical 4,300-ton vessels and each carry a maximum of just 55 lucky couples, fussed over by 92 staff and crew.

Like Attila, many staff are Hungarian. Collectively they deliver impeccable service with a smile, unhindered by any requirement to take payment or run a tab because on SeaDream ships all drinks (with the exception of vintage wines) are inclusive, and there's no tipping.



And here you can be indulged wherever you please - by room service to your well-appointed stateroom, at the popular Top Of The Yacht bar with its traditional wooden lines and bar stools, in the Main Salon where guests usually gather before dinner, or at the Pool Bar next to the swimming pool.

SeaDream says its experience is "unstructured" with "no clocks, no crowds, no lines, and no stress". To these absences I'd add "no dinner jackets and evening gowns" although guests are encouraged to adopt what's called a "casual elegance" dress code for fine dining in the beautiful restaurant, which is often followed by liqueurs on deck or perhaps a game of blackjack in the small casino.

Other notable on-board facilities include a Thai spa, fitness centre, library, boutique and golf simulator (lots of fun).

SeaDream yachts sail scheduled, seven-day itineraries and spend May to October in the Med.

Travellers are warned that ports of call during these cruises are not necessarily cast in stone, with captains given the authority to adjust for "local opportunities".

An idyllic morning voyage down the Italian coast ended with a dropped anchor at the entrance to Portofino, considered among the most beautiful and photogenic of Mediterranean ports, which has for decades attracted the rich and famous.

Originally a target for British aristocratic tourists who arrived by horse and cart in the late 19th century, it became a popular spot for glitterati including Rex Harrison and Elizabeth Taylor. Rod Stewart married Penny Lancaster here as did Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin only last week.

Portofino is surrounded by steep-sided hills smothered with olive, pine, cypress and palm trees with several spectacular homes peeping through gaps in the lush vegetation. The harbour is ringed by pleasant waterside cafes and restaurants and there are some designer shops nearby - but we headed away, taking a flight of stone steps which climbed steeply up the promontory and past the 16th century Castello Brown, previously a fortress but now a museum, before arriving at the lighthouse to enjoy magnificent panoramic views of the Gulf of Rapallo.

A half-day in Portofino is but a taster of what this luxuriant corner of Italy has to offer, and there was a feeling, as Attila poured more champagne before SeaDream sailed away, that a return trip must not be far away.

FACTFILE: SeaDream offers a seven-night voyage on SeaDream 2 with stops at St Tropez, Cassis, Bonifacio (Corsica), Elba, Portovenere (Italy) and Portofino. Prices from £2,475pp. Connecting flights not included. To reserve, ring 0800 783 1373 and seadream.com